While Easter is still a few days away, I think it’s safe to say that I mostly failed at my attempt to give up saying “Yes” to things for Lent. Once or twice I thought about it but given my current level of energy I think it’s safe to say that I failed. Thank goodness for grace. Actually I knew this was going to be a problem because the weeks of Lent were already full of things I said “yes” to be before Lent began. Here’s the short list:
- Worship hosting at The Table
- Planning and executing a short dance workshop
- Attending a Table retreat
- Attending a Table Workshop
- Helping plan things for all of the above
- Writing something for another worship service (and attempting and failing to write something for a third)
- Writing a business plan to attempt to get a bank loan
- Meeting with bank after bank after bank and attempting to get a business loan
- Attending Water Aerobics 1 or 2 nights a week most weeks
- Working 28 hours this weekend for the furniture store- at the store or the Home and Garden show.
These of course do not count all the work projects, which have included completely revising the seminary catalog (online and paper version), putting together the booklet of courses for next year, helping to edit the commencement book, putting the senior profiles online, and countless other projects I can’t name here. Perhaps the phrase “Just say no” would have been appropriate.
I did get the list of “ways to say no” from our prof of pastoral care. I’m going to list them in case I lose the paper copy (and because I think it might be the most useful hand-out I ever got in seminary)
Nine ways to say no
If saying no is as hard for as it is for most people, here are a few ways to say no that might help you in the future:
- Perfectly Valid No- I’ve been out three nights this week. I’m staying home and watching television with the kids.” Say it like you mean it.
- No-After-Saying-Yes No- (would have been useful for me) I’ve made a mistake. I shouldn’t have committed myself. I’m sorry, I”ll have to back out.” Hang up the phone and give a huge sigh of relief.
- Five-Star No- (This is my favorite: there’s no come-back for it) “I’ll have to pass it up.
- No-Right-Now No- I’ve done it in the past and I’ll do it in the future, but I can’t do it right now.
- Polite No- “I’m sorry, but my schedule doesn’t permit me to take on any more obligations this (pick one) week/month/year/decade.
- No-Way No- This one is for the teenage son who want you to call your friends for a ride so he can have your care. Look directly in his eyes, smile and enunciate clearly. Say No.
- Diplomatic No- “It was kind of you to think of me. I”m flattered you asked. I’m sorry I won’t be able to do it.
- Cowardly No- Backed into a corner? Feeling low on energy or courage or both? Feeling somewhat desperate? Use this one: “My husband/mother/child doesn’t want me to do that.”
- Absolute No- “I cannot do this. I don’t have the desire, the time, the interest, or the energy. NO, absolutely not, Never.” Save this one for special occasions.
I wish my best intentions had been put into action, alas, they were not and so now I am just waiting for the resurrection of four glorious days off work for Easter break. Of course, there’s that sermon I have to write and probably something for Easter Sunday at The Table, and the house that needs spring cleaning, and all the things I have wanted to do that I couldn’t do for the last six weeks…
