(Written in 2004 and published in DreamSeeker Magazine, Spring 2004; uploaded to my blog for Jeremy- a seminary student who asked why there isn’t any poetry about coffee)
In my mind I’m sitting next to God in an over-stuffed armchair in a coffee shop. I’m drinking a Caramel Macchiato and God has a Mocha with extra whipped cream. This is our conversation.
Me: Wow that’s good.
God: I know. When I created it I said it was good.
M:Well you were right. But if it’s good how come it keeps me up at night sometimes?
G: Just because it’s good doesn’t mean it can’t be misused.
M: Is it misused when we put milk and caramel in it?
G: What do you think?
M: I think it’s good.
G: Then you’re right.
M: If you were on earth again, would you buy coffee at Starbucks?
G: If I were on earth today, do you think I could afford to buy coffee at Starbucks?
M: Good point. Would you buy Equal Exchange?
G: What do you think?
M: Is it bad to drink it out of styrofoam?
G: That depends on how important you think my earth is.
M: Is coffee anything like nectar in heaven?
G: You’re confusing me with the Greeks.
M: Oh right, sorry. Is there coffee in heaven?
G: I’m not at liberty to say.
M: What are you, Secret Service?
(God laughs)
M: If Jesus had communion today, would he serve coffee instead of wine?
G: That might be less complicated.
M: Would it be regular or decaf?
G: Wine or grape juice?
M: Would Jesus hang out in coffee shops?
G: Maybe. I think might depend on if the band is good.
M: Does Jesus like contemporary Christian music?
G: I’m not at liberty to say.
(I laugh)
M: Could Jesus cure a caffeine headache?
G: I think that might be a waste of Jesus’ gift, don’t you?
M: Did Adam and Eve have coffee in the Garden?
G: Where you think the knowledge of good and evil comes from? Apples?
M: But you said it was good.
G: And it was. You said it could be used for evil.
M: Actually you said that.
G: Oh, of course. (At this point God gets flustered and takes another sip of his Mocha and gets whipped cream on God’s nose. We both laugh)
M: Did you invent whipped cream?
G: Oh come on.
M: What? Should I be asking you deep questions about life and stuff?
G: Isn’t that usually what you do at coffee shops?
M: Sometimes. Would you answer them?
G: Probably not.
M: Would Jesus use coffee in parables?
G: Maybe.
M: The kingdom of God is like a cup of coffee… Now you have to fill in the rest.
G: What do you mean?
M: I don’t know what the kingdom of God is like; you tell me.
G: Take a guess.
M: Okay, the kingdom of God is like a cup of coffee, sweet and warm and… full of energy?
G: Not bad, could use a little work though.
M: Well its better than the kingdom of God is like a Starbucks, ritzy and overpriced.
(God laughs)
We’re silent for a while. I pick up a Newsweek. I could ask God about news and why there is suffering and politics, but when you’re sitting in an overstuffed armchair next to God in a coffee shop that smells like caramel and God has whipped cream on God’s nose, it just doesn’t feel like the right time.
